Yes, the idea of raunchy, phenomenal sex sends our fantasies into overdrive. Furthermore, yes, we’d like it to be as flawless and marvelous as they show it on the screen. But, sometimes there’s one tiny hitch– common sense.
One of the primary non-lessons we’d learned out of the films was: the manner by which it is smooth and simple to take the clothes off before ‘the actual act’. Hey, hold on! Not so easy. If you are a hopeless romantic person, you’ll do better that way, but if you’re seriously into trying something out of these movies, forget it, please! Try not to act like you haven’t got stuck with that belt buckle, ever!
Nevertheless, here are some completely impractical on-screen simulated sex scenes that, if tried, would turn your sex life upside down, in reality – you can consider anything from awakening the entire neighborhood or breaking a couple of bones. Envision away!
1. In the bushes
Outdoor Intercourse within the bushes. Scarlett Johansson & Jonathan Rhys Meyers could make something look good. However, all I can take into consideration is how scratchy it should have been, like really? In the bushes!
Love actually is one of the biggest fashionable romance movies on the market, however, keep in mind, Colin? He is adorably geeky in some ways, and he happens to hook up with three ladies throughout his journey to America. Great!
2. Against a bookshelf
It’s like a bookworm’s fetish, isn’t it? Getting all hot ‘n’ heavy against the bookshelf – James McAvoy and Keira Knightley seem to be doing just fine, frankly! Sample this, though – those books are stacked parallel. How can they not fall off at the other end? And, don’t even get us started on the number of hands that have touched those books.
3. In the Pipe
Tiny Furniture starring Lena Dunham is about Aura, a younger woman who’s attempting to determine what to do after college. She hooks up with a man in this pipe doggy model. And the punchline? Aura nonetheless would not know what to do still.
4. Breaking bed
Mr. & Mrs. Smith, we get that you have revenge with your enemy that may flip into sensual. However, that may simply turn out to be in an excessive manner is unbelievable. No one higher than Brangelina to make it look perfect!
5. Stand-up Sex
Remember when Tom Cruise & Kelly Preston has stood up intercourse in Jerry Maguire? Well, there are technical points to be noted as for this position, the two of you need a height combination, & in any other case, you’re simply straining yourself out.
6. Hands-on the foggy window
Like Rose in the Titanic, how many of you have actually tried something like this on a foggy window? Do not lie, please!
7. On the Piano
We grew up fantasizing about our Prince Charming showing up one fine day in the garb of Richard Gere, thanks to Pretty Woman. Well, life doesn’t always pan out as planned, does it? Nor do sex sequences. Imagine being prepped up on the hood of a classic, old-world piano. Where are your toes/feet going to be? The keys, you say? NO, really?! How does the piano play in your head now?
8. On the Staircase
Sure, when hot humans like Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo do things, they’re perfect – even coitus on a hard marble staircase. We wonder how we’d get the groove on a cold staircase. Even if we do (age, you know), how do we keep at it without slipping and breaking a bone? But, most importantly, where on the earth are we going to find this staircase? Unless your Significant Other is a billionaire, of course, and can afford to pay for extensive physiotherapy for spondylitis.
9. In the train
You’d think matters would be made easier with the locomotive motion of a train. Think again. Though a very young Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay seemed to have no problems getting it on in a public transport, we can’t help but fear the germs. Oh, GERMS! And oh, the windows!
10. On the beach
Not that we aim to ruin those Australian (or Goan) fantasies, but, picture this – if walking barefoot on the beach gets sand on your toes, how would it be if you decided to take things further with your partner? Madonna in her black bikini, however, makes it look real easy in her then-husband Guy Ritchie’s movie, Swept Away.
And how can I miss this?
And for those trying to get too experimental over the weekend, remember Samantha
from ‘Sex And The City’ and her sushi sex plans? Just Saying!
That’s all friends!
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